Certainly this is not my daughter starting Kindergarten in less than 1 week! No, her Dad and I just paced the halls loud with her newborn cries…we just smelled her fresh newborn skin post bath…we just watched her grab handfuls of frosting off her first birthday smash cake. And wasn’t it yesterday that we watched her feed her dolls and diaper them while I changed her baby brother’s? And laugh at the way she said buuurdie and called her brother buddy…
I know as new parents, we are told to enjoy it…it goes so fast. You hear that so much that you almost become immune to it. Especially in those early, hard days. And those long days turn into quick seasons. One one day, you wake up and you are the one saying it. It. Goes. So. Fast.
I have been suppressing these emotions all summer. They are a mix of joy and heartbreak. That is the great dichotomy of parenting – the joy in seeing them grow accompanied by the heartbreak in seeing the grow. You are filled with such joy…words cannot even be found to describe those emotions on seeing them grow…experience new things. But there is always that tug at your heart…where you want them to stay little. Or just be able to push pause and soak it in a bit more.
I have these doubts as a mom…did I take you to the Children’s Museum enough? Did I stop to explain enough to you at the zoo? Did I stop to watch you paint or write while I hurried to make dinner? Because after 5 1/2 years with me being one of the main sources of her education, someone else will take over this role. My job, in a way, is done. And I realize how dramatic this sounds – obviously my job as a mom is not done. But that day to day learning at home will be replaced by a classroom and structure – as it should. And I just hope I did enough…
Our dynamics at home will change so much. I cannot imagine what it will be like to have her gone all day. Oh how her brother and sister are going to miss her. Hudson and Elle are such best friends…he is really going to miss her. At the same time, I do look forward to that time with him. In other huge news, Hudson will be starting Preschool two mornings per week (I could write a whole post about this as well…). During this time, Harper will have some time by herself with me…time that the other two each got at different stages.
Now that you may find yourself in need an antidepressant after reading all of that, lets talk about some of the fun things. This girl is ready. I am so excited to see her continue to show excitement over learning. She is going to make so many new friends and experience so many fun things.
To my Elle Sophia. You are so ready for this. Our shy, sweet, and beautiful little toddler has grown into a confident, kind, and smart little girl. While we will miss you during the day, we know you will be having so many wonderful experiences. I will forever treasure those lazy days at home with you…days full of outings and playdates and fun. Your Dad and I could not be more proud of you. We know you will do great things.Any of you mommas have babies starting Kindergarten?!?