Blushing Momma
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It has been a while since I have posted an update on Aaron – mostly because it is not something I enjoy talking about, but also because there has not been much going on. That has unfortunately changed 

See Our Story for the history on Aaron’s cancer and treatments. He finished his last round of chemo in December, just before Christmas. The subsequent scan was clear, so we made the tough decision to stop chemo. While we were so grateful to have a break in treatments, we were scared to stop the chemo in fear of it returning. Since the cancer was in his lymph nodes, there was no removing the cancer and we relied solely on the chemo to take care of it.

Aaron had his follow-up scan last week and met with the doctor on Monday. The cancer has returned to a couple lymph nodes in the same area as before. While we were devastated to hear the results, we are grateful that it has not spread anywhere else. So, crappy that it is back, but awesome that it isn’t anywhere else. The plan is to restart chemo on Monday and likely continue for another 6 months. With the chemo he receives, he will get treatment every other Monday for a total of 12 treatments. Following the treatment, he is usually pretty down and out for about 3 days. It is the same regimen (plus an additional med) that he received last time – the thought being it obviously worked, it just came back. There may or may not be radiation following this treatment.

And while the thought of another 6 months of chemo is so daunting, we are grateful for a plan and for doctors to help guide us in the decisions. There is a weird security in chemo. Aaron is his usual, strong self and just wants to get the treatments started. I am doing okay too. We have our dark moments, but try our hardest to keep hope and rely on our faith and children for strength. The kids do not know about Aaron. They are still too little to understand and they do not need to have any anxiety about what will happen to their Dad. They know he gets medicine that makes him not feel well, but is making him better – and that is the most of it. We don’t use the C word with them. I have said it before, but I am willing to shoulder any burden or do anything I need to in order for our kids to have a happy and healthy life.

There are a couple questions I have gotten from friends, family, and followers that I wanted to answer.

Why do you pretend to be so happy or act like everything is okay? This one always catches me off guard. We are happy!! There is this weird dichotomy in our life. It is the happiest we have ever been with our children and our home life, while the saddest we have been with Aaron’s health. Our day to day life is so very normal. We take such joy in our children, friends, and family. And on instagram and the blog, you do see most of the happy moments – in person, you would likely see this too. Talking about Aaron’s health or our struggles is something we tend to do in private and don’t feel it achieves much for us to be doom and gloom in our attitudes. We are genuinely happy and optimistic people and still have a wonderful day to day life. Remaining happy and focusing on the good is what gets us through this. I can’t imagine where we would be if we didn’t both have a good outlook.

Why have a blog? Yes, this is extra work during a very demanding time of my life, but I do enjoy it. My desire to start a blog was separate from sharing what was going on with Aaron. My sister has an amazing blog, and after discussions with her, I felt there were things I had to share too. I wanted an area to share and inspire on things home, family, and self. I love being a mom and doing fun things with my family and hope to inspire other moms too. I am always trying out new crafts, activities, fashion, and recipes and am proud to run a very happy and structured household in spite of everything going on – I hope that sharing these tips will help others. Sharing things about Aaron was something I wasn’t sure I would do. But this is such a huge part of our lives, that it would be hard not to share. My other thought with this is that there may be others out there going through similar situations. Maybe in hearing our story and seeing how we continue to live our lives, they will find strength and inspiration.

Does it seem superficial to post about shopping or fashion? No, not at all. Like I said, our day to day life is still very normal. This involves doing our usual fun things as a family, and I enjoy sharing ideas and inspiration for other moms. This does involve shopping too  It has always been a hobby of mine, and just because we are going through this, that doesn’t change.

So there is our update. I feel like it is somewhat blunt, but it is sort of difficult to be eloquent with this topic. We remain hopeful that this treatment will again work. We really appreciate everyone’s love and support!

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